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Coneheads (1993) - Cinema Decon Movie Review, Analysis, and Deconstruction

Updated: Aug 28, 2023

Show Notes and Transcript


Aaron and Steve discuss the 1993 comedy movie Coneheads. Based on the Saturday Night Live characters, Beldar (Dan Aykroyd) and Primat (Jane Curtain) are aliens with the aforementioned cone heads who are stranded in New Jersey and forced to assimilate into American life.


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Cinema Decon Ranking

Aaron: 8

Steve: 6.5

IMDB: 5.3

Composite: 6.6


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Muppet Recast


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Transcript as follow: Participant #1:

The arsonist had oddly shaped feet. And that is the first line recorded.


Participant #1:

Hello and welcome to the first episode of Cinema decon, deconstructing and overthinking the movies of our younger years. My name is Steve Evelyn, and on this podcast we will revisit of the movies that we keep in the back part of our minds as flawless, masterpieces, untouchable by any criticism. And hopefully they stay that way. Jonas as we re watch a randomly selected movie from our list of 300 plus from the little about myself. I come from a small town in Illinois where I developed a sincere affection for many classic movies as I grew up and then went on worldwide travels, eventually landing here in Atlanta where I met my co host and partner in pop culture, Aaron Hart. Mr. Aaron, tell our listener, how about yourself? Thanks, Steve. Well, I come from the wonderful world of Oz, also known as Wichita, Kansas. Grew up there, high school, college, et cetera. Did a lot of world travels for a while and just like Steve, I ended up landing here in Atlanta through some mutual friends. And that's how Steve and I met. Basically bonded almost instantly over pop culture, Nerdology, geekud, pretty much anything movie, music, TV related. 15 years later we decided to actually talk about it openly, or live for that matter. Live recorded it in front of a studio audience, at least. Aaron and I met through work and eventually went on many travels together in and out of several countries. At its core was always just movies, talking about movies, quoting movies, and somehow comparing every situation we were ever in to a movie. We have spent many a night in the same Foxhole discussing movies, TV shows, pretty much anything pop culture. There have been several conversations entirely in movie and TV. Quote yeah, for me it was either the old VHS from the local gas station rental back home in Illinois or even better, the hard drives overseas that had a plethora of quote unquote legal movies. I'm sure they were all acquired in the proper format, but a lot of those movies are where I caught up as far as the late two thousand s, the shared hard drive. Of course, as we all know, everything acquired overseas by military and defense contract personnel is completely legal and above board. But I'm with you. It started way early days, way even back in the days of the wonderful Sony Beta. Max, you never had the Betamax. Yes, the Betamax didn't live long in our household. We eventually got a VHS because that's what all the cool kids were doing, and Sony went the way of the dodo. Unfortunately, it was a much nicer format to play around with at the time, but that's what happens. I got lucky in 1990 when we moved from one small town to another, but I had a friend who had the magic black box who was building his library and so at ten years old, a neighbor down the road had just any movie you wanted, just completely ripped from the local, not Blockbuster. That takes me back. Growing up, like in the high school areas, I had one of my best friends, Molly, that worked at our local Blockbuster. So we basically lived in and out of that Blockbuster every weekend. I honestly remember growing up and hitting the local. We didn't even have a Blockbuster buyer house. It was a one off, like movie gallery or Hollywood Video, I want to say. And I'm pretty sure I ran through the entire collection of Friday the 13th, Halloween, nightmare on Elm Street, Evil Dead, pretty much all the Campy Eighty s and early 90s horror movies over and over and over again. There may or may not have been a few Transformers the Animated Series rentals, pretty much anything under my hand. Horror movie and the movie. My first horror movie rental that I remember was Guliz. And there's a reason for that. This is in 1984 when it came out on VHS. So I was four years old. My parents rented me gooey. But there's a reason, because my older cousin recommended Goonies, my parents, that they should rent that for me. Mistakes were made. I have not watched it since, and I hope it's not even in our list. I don't know if it is. I don't think so. But I might have to add it just because of that sound bite. I may have to add it just because I eventually watched Goonies and fell in love with it. But yeah, Gooey's was not what we were expecting. Yeah, this doesn't sound right. It would be even funnier if it was in the Goonies box but had the wrong tape. Like what happened quite a few times back in the old DVD and VHS rental era. Well, in my little town of 300 people at the time, there was only one place to rent movies. That was at the local gas station, Jack's Gas. And if you could get any sort of new release out of there, that was an event. They usually had two, maybe three of the new releases because there was only just a single 3ft of a wall of just a couple of movies to rent. That was it. And then, say, ten years later was when we got our Blockbuster invitation, which was called Video Vision. And there you could rent Nintendo games too. So that was big time. That reminds me of another story, like from my childhood, when I was in maybe the end of elementary school or early junior high. There was another friend of mine, I can't remember his name now, but his parents ran the little one off Video Center store down by my father's house, so he could just walk in and take anything he wanted. At one point. He may or may not have slipped in some more mature titles from time to time, i, of course, being the gentleman, never partake in any of that, any of the other movies. We rented a lot of movies and a lot of obscure Nintendo games that I would have never paid to rent at the time because they're just really weird stuff. Did you have the old video store that had the saloon doors in the back or the curtains you walk by and you just kind of try to speak later? And looking back on it, I remember thinking


Participant #1:

the obsession started way young with just an absorbent amount, a plethora, if you will, of availability of weird and odd movies almost for free. And that got me started. He's actually the one that got me. I remember the first movie we ended up watching was Tremors, and we actually grabbed the TV and hoisted on top of a building to watch it on the building to get the whole feel because part of a lot of the movie, they're all standing on top of buildings. That kind of gave it a little not Inception authenticity. Yeah, it definitely put us in the series because it wasn't the first time I watched it up there, but we watched it maybe the second time up on an actual roof. So at a minimum, this podcast gives us the ability to rewatch all these old classics. It's really the point of it, all these other things about developing. Does this something hold up or is this joke bad now? It's really an excuse to watch old movies and talk about them and hopefully some people listening and enjoy the conversation. Yes. I'm basically using this podcast as an excuse to just continue binge watching all the movies and my kid from when I was a kid and under the guise of making sensible dialogue about them later. Most of which I just make up off the top of my head. There are a lot of classic movies that my wife has no desire to watch with me. I love her, bless her heart, but she has no desire to watch some of these old absurd comedies or relive my childhood. That's fine. Yeah, I disagree. She is required to listen to the podcast and provide a five star review on itunes. Well, you got to have standards. So I reach out to Aaron. Hey, want to start a podcast? We're going to watch old movies. Yes. Twisted my arm. Many seconds of deliberating on that. So the way I was envisioning this is a little bit intro music and then, hello, welcome to whatever episode. Send them a decon. You give a greeting, then we give a spiel of what we are, especially this first one. We'll probably talk a little longer about what the project is for and what we're trying to do. In my vision, sometime in our late teens and the 20s is where we develop actual taste. Much of what we're going to watch, we haven't seen since those late teens, since that turning point. Like I said, about 26 of them I haven't seen at all. Yeah, there's quite a few other ones that you had that I know of, I've heard about. They never made it into the rotation. There are lots of good podcasts out there as far as that, do this already and you listen to one, you're like, they're missing this, or, man, they're so wrong about this scene. Yes. I mean, hopefully we're not just completely doubling up on something that's already been done. That's the only thing we are. But a lot of them are film people. When I did my artistic film thesis, I learned about the Coen brothers. I learned about Citizen Kane. I just watched the movies and I just know it's good or not. Under qualified, overthinkers. I can watch an old movie and say, this is terrible, but I'm having fun. Half the movies on our list would probably classify as terrible movies. Oh, absolutely. Some of the best movies on that list could be terrible movies. Probably more. Coneheads itself is a 5.3. I can already yeah. Today's movie is the 1093 movie Cone Heads, directed by Steve Baron, starring the incredible Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtains. Aaron, what do you remember about this movie? Primarily, I remember a lot of people not wearing hats, mostly because they can't seem to find any that fit their giant heads. I also remember a lot of people they had the sex rings. A ring is not a hat. We've had this conversation before. We cannot replace rings and hats. I don't want to go over this again. I also remember it was a very progressive movie where nobody even wanted to bring up the concept of having an oddly shaped head for fear of offending the other person. So it was kind of the woke movie of the mid 80s, mid ninety. S. It was ahead of it. I can't even count. This is how little yes. Early 90s, something like that. We'll cut that out. We're not going to cut that out, are we? Do you remember seeing this movie at all? Yes, I do remember the first time seeing this movie. I actually saw the movie well before I saw the original skits on SNL, because back at that time, I didn't really listen to SNL that much. Or listen to SNL. I didn't watch SNL that much. Looking back, it surprised me because when I did start watching SNL, it was the original crew for the longest time, and it was always renters. I knew of the Coneheads, I knew of Gumby, I knew of Bill Murray's, lounge singer, but I had never seen them. Yeah, the Steele, Martin Pharaoh and tripping over everything in the intros. That's how I got introduced to SNL. You had the great stuff back then with Wayne's World and then Coneheads and the Pharaoh. But I had not seen any of that before the movie came out. So I was definitely behind the times. This was definitely a home rental for us in the early 90s or mid ninety s. I just remember seeing it. I remember seeing the VHS box, the family watching it, mom not laughing, dad laughing. And I absolutely remember watching this by myself. This would definitely not be something like my mom would have been watching. I could see my dad laughing at this, but not my mom. There's only a few things, a few little standout things I remember from the movie itself. One was obviously the Chewable contraceptive bad that never took off as much as I hoped it would. And then the other was the battle cry for the ages. The old narfold of Garth OG narfollogartheg, which is still what one should scream at the top of one's lungs at the moment of climax. I mean, I do it every time, so might explain why I'm single, but that's another conversation. Well, to dive down that rabbit hole another time. Yeah, next week. We discussed that. I do remember. This is the movie that I first heard. Tainted Love. Yes, it did. Very good for that song. Well, I had a great soundtrack in general, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and playing that one song. That song that they said that song. Yeah, that one song, exactly. It wasn't Tainted Love. That wasn't that would have been weird. That is a cover I'd like to hear. I was going to say, although just having an entire soundtrack of multiple bands covering the exact same song would be kind of funny in itself. You have not seen the Coneheads video for Conehead Love, then? Okay, so we're going to have to add another You Have Homework video. You have homework. It is on YouTube. You have homework to do for when we come back. You'll be amazed. Is it from France? Do you expect this to live up to any childhood nostalgia, memories? Definitely some nostalgia. Obviously dan Ackroyd and Jane Kern's delivery is just one that's timeless. It's not going to grow old. It's going to be funny probably forever. I cannot remember the actress that plays the daughter, for the life of me. But I don't see her influence in the show really standing up out as much as Santa Claus and James. But I would assume this one's going to stand the test of time. From a comedy perspective. Definitely. I think it's going to be enjoyable. I think it's going to be a good time, and I think it's going to make us cringe at certain points as far as some comedy that doesn't hold up, but just the performances. Because if I remember right, jane and Dan give it their all. They are committed. There's no even hint of breaking what they're doing. And Dan Ackroyd has a great this is his niche. Oh, yeah. The goofy Sci-Fi. So I'm looking forward to this. I think it's going to be fun. Oh, yeah, definitely. It's a good choice for our first one, so hopefully it won't suck. Knock on wood. All right, we will come back after we head out and watch. Coneheads. Never got time. Grid like breakfast labs, extruded mammal killings, seared scripts of swine, flash, and flattened chicken embryos. I will enjoy it. What is a seven letter word for a tomb in ancient Egypt, which is a quadrilateral masonry mass having smooth, deeply slipping sides, meeting at an apex? A flinder. Good morning, Principal Eunice. John. Greetings. Genuine. What would you like for consumables? Pop Tarts, chicken embryos? Seasoned patties of ground animal flesh? Not really hungry, just some Tang. Tang? The drink the astronauts took to the moon.


Participant #1:

Aaron Coneheads, what do you think? Well, almost as good as I remember it. Honestly, after watching it, I haven't seen it in maybe 1015 years. I was pleasantly surprised. I really did not expect it to be as funny as it was. I was expecting it to be a bit stale and the same joke for an hour and a half, but it really wasn't 100% because of Dan Ackroyd and Jenkerten. I'm with you. I don't remember. One thing I definitely did not remember was the sheer amount of satellite live and other comedian cameos in this movie. Tons of cameos. Huge list of really good cameos. And a lot of them were just one offs. They'd be in one scene and that would be it. No huge splashy scenes, as you said. I assumed that it was going to be like the pop culture references and everything. We're going to be a little dated since the movie is several decades old. The jokes about them being from France, I just assumed it was going to be the same thing over and over again. And then Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtin started talking and it completely clicked. It was amazing. Yeah, I loved it. A lot of the cameos were just so subdued. Right off the bat. You got Michael Richards. I didn't remember the beginning at all. The Twin Towers in the background. And then Michael Richards is a motel clerk, and he's not Kramer. He's not George from UHF. He's just quiet. Exactly. Michael Richards. Phil Hartman. Oh, it's good to see Phil Hartman. Sin dad out of nowhere. Sandler and a big thing. And the Sandler was one of my more favorite cameos in there because it was just enough of his early stick with the way that conversation was going, getting him his fake documents, just enough. It didn't get too old. Tom Arnold was weird. Tom Arnold seemed to be the only person in the con Edge universe that thought the shape of their heads was abnormal. The one person saying the entire movie that did notice it, and they had to make him an asshole, which is kind of odd. And a complete one off where he was done, that was it. He said, hey, weird head, then turned around and left. Even called Chris Farley Chubby. That was an odd cameo from him. And then a lot of the little mini cameo is like Drew Carey as the cab customer was first cab customer. And no one did as the swim coach. Her first TV role, I think. TV role. One thing I never noticed, that Tim Meadows was in there. He was the first one killed in the arena. Yes, I had a joke about that with a black guy. Dice first. That's one of the tropes that will never get old. Not to sound bad, but that one just keeps going on. You watch the movie and you're counting the cameos and just, hey, look, it's him. Hey, look, it's her. Hey, look, it's Tim. And then they threw in Jason Alexander with hair. I almost didn't recognize him. Hair. Hair. I like how they make us to pay. A joke, though. Turns on the lawn mower. He's holding it. Yeah. I honestly wouldn't have recognized him if it weren't for his voice. But to me, the two that I like the most, aside from, obviously, Dan Ackroyd, Jane Curtin, is the dynamic that Michael McKenna and David Spade had. I have so much love for Michael McCain in this movie. He was great. He is very dedicated to being that corporate government, really? He's that government agent that must get his guy. And he's not breaking that at all until he gets a promotion. He's like, I screw it, and he's see you later. It's like, oh, I know that guy. I know that guy well. And then, like you said, off to the side, David Spade. We know that guy very well, that character. He is the corporate lackey. The corporate lackey, the corporate kiss ass. Tries to take credit for literally everybody's work. He's not in a good mood. Let me better give that to me. Oh, hey, sir. Look what I found. One of the funniest scenes I remember from those two were I want to say it was near the end after his promotion fell flat at the hands of another SNL cameo in the name of Kevin Nealon as a senator in charge of senator. Yeah. After he's kicked back down to have to solve this ins issue with Family Conehead, he and David Spade posted Jehovah's Witnesses to try to get invited into the Coneheads house and basically question them. And it immediately made me flash back to another Michael McKee movie, Clue, with the Jehovah's Witness scene at the end of that. The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Told you I didn't shoot him. I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife.


Participant #1:

Never mind that. We'll get to that one. We'll get to that one. A couple of things that I wrote down in my notes as far as just being hilarious. Number one, my favorite scene in the movie is where her water breaks. I laughed out loud. I did not see it coming. I had completely forgotten that her water breaks floods the entire apartment. I have two kids myself, seeing this process. And it was funny, it was classic. And her reactions, her voice and her reactions when things like that happen or pretty much anything. When the water breaks, when she sees the eggplants in the grocery store and she just goes now that I put a note by. Because she's been in she's been in New Jersey for over 15 years and she hasn't seen an eggplant yet for seven zeros, if I recall correctly. I don't know if we have yet. How long is it for seven zeros? Well, let's see. And by the time they got there, the daughter is 16. It's presumably one or two years from the original point before they get pregnant. I think he's a cab driver for about two years. Yeah, I'm thinking maybe 18 years. So do the math. In my head. None of my calculator at all. It's about two and a half years per Zirl 2.6, something like that. Close. Yes. I totally didn't use a calculator at all. Pay no attention to the typing. Sam in the background. Going back to Michael MckayAn, he has a great anti save the cat moment. We introduce a character and they save the cat. You know, that person is a good guy hero. That's just a screenwriting trophy itself. He's got an anti one with the hilariously absurd illegal alien electrical collar, border security. Oh, yes. That one definitely is obviously topical nowadays. It's so absurd, though. Even his little toy illegal aliens have sombreros on the details of this movie. They had so much fun making them. And then his speech when he's on the Coast Guard cutter. To the people that go back home, there is no work for you here. We have our own problems. We have our own problems to deal with. Go away. So blatantly condescending as a market gets myself, though I will admit that I have used the David Spade line without remembering where it came from. All I hear is clicking. I have spoken to Iraqis in barter situations where they're talking so fast I have no idea what they're saying. And out of frustration, all I hear is clicking. Man, I'm not proud, but, yeah, I've said it. But now I remember where it came from. There you go. Did you notice that the rules that Sinbad gives him in the beginning is what he follows to the end? Yes. Look good. Be your own boss and cash only. Don't get tied to a desk. And that's what keeps him off the grid. He's his own boss and he only takes cash. That's what keeps him off the grid. And he can use his own name. Beldar Conehead. Yeah. It wasn't until he because he got back on the radar by winning the contest. No, his logo. He was using the Ramulak logo in his driving instructor school. That is correct. One thing, which is a knock against the movie inconsistency of the teeth throughout the movie. Every once in a while, when they show the bottom teeth, they're regular. You're talking about before he got them tapped by John Levitts. Yes, but even when they're on Remy Lack, the other people, because they all kind of talk with an overbite. So you see the top teeth a lot. But once in a while there'll be a close up and you see the bottom teeth and they just kind of half assed it on that kind of budgetary issues. There were quite a few people in those scenes that they would have had to get prosthetics for. Especially when you have three rows of teeth. Which apparently did not seem to phase John Lovitt's one bit. And open, please. Who was not wearing a mask as a dentist. And close, please.


Participant #1:

And when he opened his mouth super wide to where he couldn't fit the nitrous mask over him, he just shoved it into his mouth, which looked really good from the special effects. Just a little bit of practical. The prosthetic there for the dentist chair. I love that. So much better than the Subway sandwich. That looks bad. However, I have a note on the Subway sandwich joke that no one in the movie made. Is it about her or about Chris Farley's mom? Both, also. Yes, but there was the other one. Speaking of someone that has not specifically gone through childbirth yourself, obviously, but has a family, how closely would you relate to the Redmi Lack childbirth phase? And why in God's name were two of his employees taking pictures in there? That's all I want to know. So that was very violent. They all thought it was normal, except when it seems to be a trend. Except there was the sin bad line. Get it off me. You got sprayed. During the other than the nurses fainting, there was the one thing, the nurse walked in and then the camera stays still. The nurse walks in past the camera and then just backs away slowly. She's scared for her life. I did like all of the little jokes in the background that they never point out and never bring attention to, such as at the very beginning, she's reading the Bible and she's cracking up from research. I said I did that. Supposedly she was reading Revelations as far as how the world ends, and she was just laughing about it. They don't explain it. It's just there. When he's a taxi driver, he brings six Thermoses of coffee, his cab with him. Later on, when she's grocery shopping, her entire car is filled with light bulbs. Just light bulbs. That's a lot of light bulbs. One thing I noticed is he has to drive a car with a sunroof. When he was doing all of his driving instructors, the sun roof was open, otherwise his head wouldn't fit in it. This, apparently, is not a problem for Connie, as she is a little shorter than Dan ackroyd. Do you know who her two friends were? I did. I didn't put a note on that, but I remember seeing that later. Parker Posey and Joy. Lauren Adams. That's right. The same. It was the days of confused girls. I said, we'll throw back there. What's your take on Connie? I mean, you could kind of throw any actors in there. I honestly remembering it before watching it. I honestly assumed that this was, like, a well known actress, that I just couldn't remember who it was. And to find out that it was nothing against her, it just wasn't a height or an SNL actress. It's kind of just a random choice. I think she did a very good job. Connie, as a character was kind of interesting. She's obviously aware that they are aliens. She is not fooled like everyone else in the world. Apparently that coneheads are a normal thing for French people. She has some of the literal language that her parents use, such as staying parental units instead of parents, like portals instead of doors, honing instead of other than that, she's basically like a model of a first generation immigrant to where she's grown up in this new planet. Yeah, that's showing the next generation of assimilation in there. I did like her high school talk with Ronnie at the football game. They pretty much hold an entire conversation with just me that was fairly accurate for high school and then turn around and walk away. Okay, well, I'll see you later. Just literally turn around and leave. I have many wonderful memory of women turning around and leaving on me that I can relate to. Happens to the best of us. Yeah, we can get that part out, right. Never mind that now. I actually did not really care for Chris Farley in the movie, though. Yeah, his scene in the car shop was great. He stands up to Beldar and then he talks cool to Connie, saying, I was out back having a beer. That was smooth. It was good. But then as soon as he starts dating, he turns into Chris Farley. And just the character, he slaps his head and he gets wits and just very quickly and he turns into well, he turns into a flirt dip for a moment. But I just didn't really care for his character. That could have been any actor. I just didn't really care for it. That could have been done better. I was pleasantly surprised at the soundtrack in the movie with the music they had. To me, I would say it still holds up today. Things like Bare Naked Ladies, Red Hot Chili Peppers. Do you know if they played the song is sold to Squeeze. Forgot the name of the song before we watched it. But they played it twice. It was during the flirndip scene and then later on when they're using the rings. Yes, but I loved the use of cotchrome, the old movies. Although I. Have a question flagged of who's taking the home movies? Who's recording those? Oh, I'm sure there's some kind of remote control remulaki hover craft, because the home movies were after she was born, so it was after they moved into the house next to J sale vander. So it could have been him, because there's even the video of them in the motorcycle, all three of them, and they pull up to the garage door and it's got different angles, and it shows them open in the garage door with his head like, who's recording this? That's a valid point. I say Remy like hovercraft blinded by the soft tones of Paul Simon. And also for the time frame that they'd be in. So this is supposed to span 1618 years, right? Do they take the movie with a year? Not really. Not really. But it's supposed to span about 18 years. So does it start in the 80s or does it end in I think it starts in the ends in present day, which would have been 93, I would assume. That quality of home movie footage seemed a lot older or at least a lot lower tech. It was little Connie in the motorcycle, so you would have if it was 93 and it's 16 years, that's 76, so maybe that's a little closer. But I don't recall the scenery back then. Being very 70s ish more than likely. It's one of those just don't think about it moments where the past is 1985. The president's 1985, the movie about aliens. We're supposed to think about it. That's why we're here. Man ma'am, let me ask you this. What kind of costume party is this? Have you ever been to this gigantic costume party at a country club where there's teenagers and adults and they're announcing golf trophies? I mean, that's what the upper class do. I assume that's every night at, like, Bushwood, maybe it's a jersey thing or at least Halloween. It's obviously Halloweenish. It was Halloween just right around homecoming era as well, when Ronnie crashes in the motorcycle, there are pumpkins wearing the other helmets. So it's definitely Halloween time, which they don't draw attention to, but just assumed Halloween time. But, I mean, in my high society growing up, we went to fancy dress parties at the country club with the adults all the time. Full disclosure, I have never been to a country club or fancy dress party. What was Jane Curtin for the Halloween? She was a tube of lipstick. That's what I thought. Yeah. The two best costumes to hide from the ins Jehovah's Witnesses. It took me a few minutes to get that. Guess in my head, though, is, what is she supposed to be? And then, yes, of course, the princess with the giant Disney cone. So it makes me wonder if the cone ends themselves. Decided to use those costumes in an effort to blend in, which means the rest of their time on Earth, they weren't trying to blend in, or it just happened to be the easiest costumes to wear with their particular head features. Yes. Good call. Let me ask you another question. If Bellevar has the know how and resources to build a bottle rocket with that much firepower, why did he not conquer the world anyway, or even try to? It's entirely possible that it's all show and no go. Oh, no, even the people were sunburned. It also may have taken him to 16 years to build that thing. So here's a plausible theory that was a failsafe when he realized it was going to take seven zeros to get a rescue. So he starts working on munitions in his basement based off of things that he can get on Earth, which probably made it take a lot longer. By the time he actually got it working, his daughter is born, his daughter is stimulated. He started to actually like Earth. Now he understands his daughter is a fan of the planet. And maybe that's when he starts rethinking this whole let's conquer Earth and starts thinking more of let's just get back home. Because it isn't until the end where he realizes, okay, well, let's just stay here. This week in Aaron's Theories new segment, this is my new Unsolved Mysteries. Although the fireworks scene did give us Bella smoking a cigar, so I can appreciate it, which I honestly expected him to smoke in one giant inhale, very similar to the Subway sandwich. I wanted him to turn around, hand him that cigar and just go and then pick another one out. That was entirely what I expected. But, yes, I do remember the entire package. The biggest laugh I got was probably the Subway Sandwich and the ensuing comment from Chris Farley about his mother. There are several levels to that joke. There would be a lot to unpack on that particular statement. Yes, yeah, we all saw it. We all know what it meant. No need to go into it. There are many, many different levels. They're like layers. So anything you didn't like in the movie, aside from, as you mentioned, like Chris Farley's character, not so much Chris Farley the actor, but Chris Farley's character. I think that could have been a little better with a different casting choice. I like Chris Farley, just not in this particular moment. One of the weird scenes that just looked really out of place for me. Maybe it was just and obviously it fits in because it is on an alien world, but when they're sending around the highmaster and going through all of the spoils of Earth's, not so much conquest, but safari up to this point before the attempted conquest, when he's handing over all the things, obviously there's a curtains encircling everybody in the background. And then once he'll hand something to the highmaster, a guy will float down on this curtain, grab the thing and then just float up. And nothing. That was odd I never explained is that their job? Do they just hang around there to be human elevator or, like, Remulak elevators to a storage room up in the ceiling? What do they do to put that remolk itself is odd in general in their evolution. I mean, they have interstellar travel, they have firepower, they have crazy communication and tech skills, but then they're still doing system. They're still doing gladiator style trial by death in which, obviously the Garthog that is to be gnarfold reminded me of a very stripped down version of The Return of the Jedi Rankor with a nose ring. Well, yeah, because he's street. Yeah. He's hard, he's edgy. Yeah. This is the 90s. This is in the 80s anymore. He's seen things. The thing that I was sad to see was the fact that the condom chewing gum never actually took off. I assume that was going to be a huge fad through the mid 90s. Never really happened. That was pretty funny, though, the running joke of just the blowing bubbles with the condoms. David Spade reaction to the highmaster chewing the condom was pretty great. One thing that I completely did not remember at all and kind of surprised me was the shower scene in the country club where Beldar drops his towel and walks away and you get to see a full rear shot ramulak backside. Little disturbing. We saw way too much ackroyd ackroyd in this movie. That plus the arena fight scene. There's a little too much ackroyd in that one as well. I mean, did they have to wear just bandages? Weird choice if you think back to, like, the Roman gladiators, they weren't similar, but they at least had armor. The weapon choice was a little odd, too. Everybody got a straight stick and a handheld hook that looks like an eagle talon. Basically, a little plot armor so that Beldar could eventually build his own driver. Or a good throwback to his winning the golf trophy. That was earned. Character development. Character development wise, I think Beldar, you had a solid arc, all because of his daughter. I mean, he turned into a great father. You see him driving around the teenagers, grit in his teeth. He made his daughter happy, and then, as he says, in the end, he gives her the world. Yeah. The one big lesson that I learned from this movie is that if you're on the run from the ISS, do not live in a house at the end of the cul de sac. That will definitely impede your chances of escape, unless it happens. Seven zeros after your initial call for help. But it's all right because no one's going to see that shift coming. No, of course not. They turned all their lights off. Well, they engaged their cloaking device. Yeah. Beldar did not. Do I have to think of everything, man? I also have in here I would love to see this movie as a darker movie. From seedlings point of view. Yeah, that covers two of the other questions, because that's the same thing to me, because this is a tale of an immigration nightmare from the point of the government official. So I can see this being kind of a film noir aspect from Seedling. Yes, Seedling. And I can't remember the system's character's name. Eli Spade. Yeah. David Spain and Eli in a film noir hunt across the globe for these illegal aliens. Yeah. Complete with trench where they see the cones running away from the junkyard. All you see of these illegal aliens until maybe the Jehovah's Witness see and they finally get a face to face heat style, and you get a little soft saxophone off the back and then a little Seedling voiceover. That was the day we almost had them. One of these days, Eli, my ship's going to come in. We're going to catch those evil. Something else that we have on our list is, would it be appropriate for my own kids? Would I let my kids watch it at the same age that I did? And that's a resounding yes, because my kids watch this with me, and we ended up watching it several times. They loved it. They had so many questions. All the questions, daddy, why does that bubble gum look weird? Daddy, what are the rings for? You are very familiar with the directors work. Steve Baron. You want to guess anything else he's done? I'm terrible at stuff like this. So teenage bud and ninja turtles. You're dying. The original Ninety S one is not the original. Yes. Still the best of all of them. The Money for Nothing video for Dire Straits, and consequently the Beverly Hillbillies video for Weird Eye take on Me from AHA, one of the best videos of all time. And his pinnacle billy Gene Michael Jackson, his best self. This guy came from the MTV world before he moved on to the SNL and Turtles movies. Now I'm kind of hoping we pick Teenage Me and Ninja Turtles for next, because I want to rewatch that. Speaking of music videos, did you watch Conehead Love? I have not yet. I've been that going to ruin me for life. It's bad. They try to spoof a couple of other videos I do just a screenshot from YouTube. Looks very Robert Palmersh. And I've seen several people I've seen several people try to snoop that most of them don't nail it. Right. It goes into a weird place when you have Connie Conehead in an operatic she's like flying like an angel, singing this operatic chorus in the background. It's weird. This is when we get to the operatic section. One more thing I want to mention before we go towards our rating system. Are you familiar with the nathan pile web comics? Strange Planet? No, I'm not. Do tell. I'll just send you one. But it has to be influenced by the coneheads because he explains everyday things in literal long adjectives and long mouths just as far as he'll walk outside. The glowing orb is bright today. Yes, that sort of thing. Actually, I do think these are the ones that you sent via text a few times. The aliens? Yes. Okay, then those I know, I just didn't know the name, but yes, those are great. Yeah. It has to be influenced by this. So the way that we're going to be approaching our rating system is that Aaron and I will be giving a score of one out of 1010 being a perfect movie, one being absolute crap, five being an average run of the mill movie. In order to make this fair, we're going to be adding in the Imdv score as a third person. So we'll take the average, and then we will start keeping track of all these movies and make our gigantic mega list that hopefully we can maybe get through all these movies. It will also be a good way for us to score our own rating system against the quote unquote professionals to see where we stack up. As far as having the same views on these movies, a lot of those, like IMDb, TMDb, TVDB, et cetera, a lot of them are based on literal, like Nielsen ratings or box office ratings, which are more about how many people watched, not how many people enjoyed. And then you get into something like Rotten Tomatoes, which has two separate metrics for those types, which is a little more accurate, in my opinion. So, Aaron, what is your score for Coin heads for this movie? All the nostalgia that it brought back, the wonderful use of all the cameos that they had, but not, to an overbearing extent, the still topical humor. I'm going to give this movie an eight. Wow. I'm a fan. I was not as generous. I am going to go with a 6.5. I didn't know decimals were a thing. Yes, decimals are a thing. Got a lot of movies out there. We got to differentiate. Yeah, but mine goes to eleven. And yes, you're not cutting that out. IMDb scores co heads at a 5.3. So by our scores combined, coneheads comes in at a 6.6 by hours. Scores combined. I think that's pretty fair considering I gave it a 6.5. Yeah. This is just the kind of movie I really like these kind of movies. It was just great humor. I was thoroughly entertained with my kids, loving it, and we watched it several times over the weekend, and each time I'm laughing at a different thing. Okay, so next we are going to spin for our next movie. All right, let's get it going. All right. Big win to win. Big money. Big money. No, me stop. Six. Seven is the key. Number six. All right, we got to do this one over. You better not cut that. All right, I am going to cut it because I got the max. Ten. Yes. I am doing it wrong. I got the max.


Participant #1:

Wait, we got 351, I guess, at the max. Okay, the number is


Participant #1:

153. On our list is Independence Day. Oh, my God. This is going to be fun. Oh, my God. We will see you again when we go back and watch Independence Day. Well, that's all for this episode. Thank everybody for listening and we hope you stay with us through this little experiment. We have a bit of a learning curve and hope to improve with each movie. Please don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on itunes. Check out our website in the show notes to see the full list of movies we'll be covering and our rankings thus far. You can also visit us on our patreon where we will try to post some random outtakes before the final cut. We'll see you next time. Cinema Decon.


Participant #1:

Is that a dying giraffe? It's Winston. It sounds like Stevie Nicks.



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